1/24/2013 3 Comments My Bad! I have done my husband a great disservice. I have been critical on the dance floor instead of accepting. And in my very vows to that man, I said I would accept, not expect. What can I say - the dance instructor in me dies hard. May this serve as my apology.
As many of you witnessed, last Thursday we got a rare Dance Night Out. I was absolutely giddy with anticipation to dance with the man I love most in this world! My knee didn't protest, my energy was palpable, and the dance instructor in me finally shut the heck up! The only thing that faltered was my husband's desire to dance with me. He kept trying to get off the floor after each song. When I finally asked him why, he confessed: he feared I was bored. Bored?! Dancing Salsa with (no offense to any of my readers) the sexiest man on the dance floor!? How is that even possible? It's not! I wasn't bored for a single minute. I told him as much, but he didn't believe me. He thought I must be tired of the same 13 moves - anyone who read my blog last week knows I had my feet full! I reassured him I was having a great time. He still didn't buy it. I told him I didn't need lots of combinations - I'd rather be led well. I've told him (and many other students) this very thing multiple times. Yet guys insist the woman needs lots of moves to impress her/keep her interested. Guys! The dances I remember for a lifetime aren't the fancy ones where I have to work my ass off! Go back and read my blogs! The truth... the sexiness... the sensuality... it's in the good leads. It's never in the fancy combos. Are those fun when lead correctly? Yes. Will I remember them in a month, a week, or even the next day? Nope. Will I remember how it felt dancing with you? You better believe it. So, to my dearest love, I say this: I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression you weren't enough for me. You are far more than I deserve. I fell in love with you on the dance floor while you were learning the basics. And if basics are all we ever dance - I will love you all the more - as long as you guide me gently through them. See you on the hardwood:)
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1/17/2013 4 Comments Practice what you preach... ...otherwise you'll forget how dang hard it is! Tonight was my first time dancing Salsa with my husband in a long time. It was a blast! But when I told myself to do ALL the things I tell my students to do... Sheesh! It was surprisingly exhausting?! So hats off to my hard core troopers! (And believe me when I say only pick one thing a night to work on:)
Now I could use the excuse that I'm still recovering from surgery - but that would be a lie - and my readers deserve better (though, truly, Bachata hurt the knee quite a bit). The first shock came to me during the first dance, because for the first time in a very long time I was in heels. Let me confess something: you can get away with murder in flats! It's a lot easier to feel grounded in heavy dance sneakers than it is in 2.5" heels. On the first song, I was so nervous to put my high heel down I felt like a prancing cheerleader. It's also a lot simpler to push into the floor with a rubber-soled shoe than one with suede that might slip out from underneath you. I was like a baby giraffe taking his first, unsteady steps?! Imagine my surprise. Didn't I, back in the day, spend more time in high heels than any other kind of shoe? Hadn't I, in the not-so-distant past, danced in even higher heels for 6-8 hrs per day? Aren't I supposed to be a damn professional?!;) What is the hardwood coming to? Eureka!! I had an idea! I'll brush the dirt off my shoes - that will help:) And it did. I started feeling my feet underneath me again and could then focus on other things... like my arms. I'm going to be completely honest here (so don't throw it in my face later;) there are times I want to keep my hand on my belly during a right turn! Sad, but true - I don't want to do arm styling all the time. Sometimes, I just want to chill. The hilarious part for me is, I've taught ladies to keep moving their arms for so long, I'm scared to do it any other way for fear droves of angry women will come at me from all angles saying, "Aha!" But there it is girls, for better or worse, I sometimes don't want to move my arms either. Last but not least, the old "push harder into the floor when the song is faster" advice. This does work, when you remember to do it. The problem is, you spend the first third of the song freaking out b/c it's so fast. The second third, you remember me harping on you to "Push into the floor!" so you try it. It works... until your legs start burning. By the last bit of the song, you're so tired you're praying for a Merengue to come on next so you can take a break. (By the way, I really like Merengue, I just know a lot of people are Salsa snobs;). Why tell you all this, you ask? So you know we're all still figuring it out. No one believes there's no room for improvement - or at least, I hope they don't. We can all get better. We can all learn something. And we can all relax and remember the reason we dance is to have fun! Tune in next week when I try to convince my husband of that very fact. See you on the hardwood!:) 1/10/2013 0 Comments A big "Never" There are very few "always" and/or "never"s in dancing. But I realized a big one on the way home tonight and felt compelled to share. I NEVER dance with someone who has tense arms and think afterwards, "Gosh, that was fun." In fact, I Always think, "Ow! I'm glad I survived that. Watch out for that guy in the future."
Tension does not serve you! On the dance floor or in life! RELAX your arms!! Please! All you need is a teensy bit of tone so you're not a complete noodle. You'll move more freely, communicate better, and have a heck of a good time. Promise. Tonight I danced one dance, after teaching, with Zane. Zane: to know him is to love him. Ladies want to dance with him, guys want to dance like him. He's soooooo relaxed! Did we make our mistakes? Yes. Did we laugh them off? You better believe it! I tell you all this because I think part of this tension epidemic stems from the desire to be perfect. I know - I have it. Like I said last week: we're never going to be perfect. (It's no easier to say it this week). As for me, I'm going to try to remind myself of that crappy fact before I dance with any great dancers. (Yes, I sometimes still get nervous and into my head while following. There, I said it.) But reminding myself I don't have to be perfect might help me remember I just have to be present. I'll see you on the hardwood:) 1/3/2013 2 Comments A Great Balancing Act It’s a New Year! Time for a new You, right? Wrong! There’s nothing wrong with the old you. OK, so you’re not perfect. Newsflash: you never will be. And believe me, I’m as pathetic a perfectionist as the next guy, so that hurts me to say more than it hurts you to hear. But cheer up! Obviously you’ve made it this far (and hopefully haven’t severely hurt anyone – the unintentional heartbreak(s) aside) so you just might be doing something right.
What’s that you say? Allison actually said I might be doing something right? Yes. Keep this blog forever. Reread it when you’re feeling down. You are doing lots of things right. How often do we tell ourselves that? I’ll bet – not very! So this year, instead of making trumped up resolutions (while hungover;), start with what you’re doing that you actually like. That way, you can see where the gaps are and work to fill them. It might look something like this: 1) I like that I’m Salsa dancing – but would like to go more than once a week. 2) I’m in decent shape – but would like to look better in my Salsa dresses. (Hint: doing #1 will help #2 come true:). 3) I had a great time at the Salsa party (notice a theme?) – but would like to avoid feeling like the walking dead the day after, therefore I’ll stop at three drinks next time. (This wasn’t my new year’s celebration [sadly], I just know my readers;). I could go on and on (as most of you know:). My point is, to quote a very wise man, “Life’s a Great Balancing Act”. [Yes, I’m quoting Dr. Seuss again. What can I say? The man’s a genius and I have two young kids.] Heading into the new year demanding some huge reform is unrealistic. And you feel crappy when half way through the first month, you’ve already given up. What if you just tried to achieve balance in your everyday life? For example, I’m going to try dividing the day in three equal parts: 8 hrs sleep, 8 hrs work, and 8 hrs play. Eight hours of play!?! Can you imagine that? How happy would we all be if we could pull that off?! Maybe it means I have to find a way to make doing the dishes feel like a game? I don't know yet, but thinking about it makes me positively giddy:) I’m not expecting to be able to do it down to the minute, but being aware that I need to include playtime in my day restores balance and flat out makes me a happier person. There’s so much to get done all the time it’s easy to forget how to play. The proverb is true: all work and no play makes Jack a boring dancer. OK, I may have taken some artistic license there - go with it. I’ll see you on the hardwood. It’s damn good to be back! 10/12/2012 1 Comment Straight jacket vs straight talk People often confuse passionate with crazy…especially where I’m concerned. Usually I laugh it off, but now I have a blog to vent my frustrations, (or is it to share my wisdom?;) Either way, you’re about to get a piece of my mind.
I’ve been thinking about the myriad of responses I could come back with when people call me crazy, but the one I like the most is this: “Is it not crazier to walk through life with little to no emotion or excitement about anything? To never vary your routine? To never express true joy? To never feel true joy because you don’t allow yourself to be that happy or feel that much?" Now I know some of you are thinking, “But if I allow myself that High, what will the Low look like?” Guess what: you are in control of what they look like! You make a choice everyday (whether you realize it or not) to be happy or bla or pissed. Being aware of that choice is half the battle. I’m not saying you always have to be happy. No one is happy all the time. But 90% of the time wouldn’t be so terrible, would it? The others of you are saying, "Oh, she's just naive." That's another adjective I get a lot: naive. It may be true. I'm eager for enlightment, so please - tell me why my baseline shouldn't be on the good side or high end of the scale? I'm dying to know why even keel is so coveted. Because you can count on them for consistency? Yeah, that's mostly true of bowel movements, too - so what? And for the record, most people do count on me being the upbeat one all the time. I guess I always laugh it off because I feel a little sorry for these people. What must a blase world be like? Miserable, I assume. To go to work and not look forward to it…for thirty years?! Why do so many of us do that? To settle for a relationship that’s OK instead of one that thrills us. I confess – I did that for way too long – which is why I’m so appreciative of my fabulous husband! Or to show the most emotion when we’re enraged by traffic or excited by sports…as if those are the important things in life. I just don’t get it. So to all you folks who think my excitement about dancing or food or soda;) is misplaced - I say, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you don’t have as many things in life that make you jump for joy. But I truly hope you’ll find them someday. Who knows? You may find them on the dance floor. I’ll see you on the hardwood… and I will be the one jumping up and down. 9/20/2012 2 Comments "Dance to impress" There’s a reason that’s not a saying… you shouldn’t do it! You really should “dance like no one is watching” because you’re a lot more relaxed that way. When you’re relaxed, your partner is relaxed. When you’re both chillin’, having a good ol’ time – communication flows more smoothly… and that’s what dancing is after all – a conversation without the words.
We’ve all talked to that douche who flaunts his/her “impressive” vocabulary. It’s annoying! When I have a conversation, yes I want to learn something, but I’d prefer not to feel stupid in the process. And let’s be honest: nobody likes a show off. Dancing is the same. I’d much rather watch a couple who’s having fun together than a couple who’s trying to put on a show in the middle of a dance club. When I’m dancing with a guy, I don’t want him to throw his highfalutin moves at me non-stop. I want to have a nice conversation: comfortable hello, (a good basic) how are you, (Cross Body Lead) maybe a joke here or there, (CBL w/inside or outside turn) and then maybe they can teach me my new thing for that day (the combo they just learned in class). I don’t want to be bombarded with interesting/useless fact (uber combo #16) after useless fact (uber combo #36). It’s like dancing with Cliff Clavin (for those of you who don’t know that reference, you’re too young to get this anyway;). Now, I will confess, I personally hate to mingle. No one likes having the same, trite conversation over and over. So when I am forced to do it, I like to keep it interesting and ask questions the other person may not always get. Social dancing is the same. You are mingling with your body (though it’s not as kinky as it sounds – well, with Salsa it can be;). Try to keep it lively. Don’t do the same rote routine with each dance partner. Or for my ladies reading this, don’t become a robotic follow who just goes through the motions. (That’s actually sage advice for anyone on any topic). I’m not saying you should try to impress anyone. By now, we should all know the difference between putting our best foot forward versus shoving our newly polished toenails in someone’s face. All I’m saying is you should feel different than anyone else in the room because you are different from everyone else in the room. Be yourself! It’s going to be good enough. I think Billy Joel said it best in “Just the Way You Are”. “I don’t want clever conversation. I never want to work that hard. I just want someone that I can talk to. I want you just the way you are.” Thanks Bill. I’ll see you on the hardwood:) 9/6/2012 1 Comment Remember when Remember when eye contact was the norm? Expected, even. I remember a time where if you didn’t look someone in the eye you were considered rude. And I’m not necessarily talking about dancing- I’m talking about walking! Gone are the days you walk with your head up, acknowledging the person passing you with a smile. Who do I need to talk to to bring those back?
Nowadays, people passing on the sidewalk not only don’t look me in the eye - they go as far as to put their head down – as if they’re afraid I might commit the heinous, unforgivable act of smiling. What’s so wrong with saying “hello” people?! Why do we act like this other human being isn’t there? How much happier would we be if we went around smiling and greeting our fellow men (and women)? And don’t say you’re “not in the mood” or you’re “having a bad day”. Who cares! Suck it up and be civil. Worse case scenario: the person passing asks you for something. Oh No! Anything but that! Maybe it’s just for “the time”. Or maybe it’s to help with their broken down car. Or maybe it’s for money. You can always say “no”. But it seems to me, the very least we can do is look them in the eye. What’s the best that can happen? (I'm glad you asked). We'd all have better posture from not hanging our heads, we'd feel better because we’ve been smiling, and we'd quite possibly improve a stranger’s day. So, try it tomorrow and the day after, and the day after... until it’s feels like the good ol’ days. I’ll see you on the hardwood…and yes, I will be looking!;) 8/23/2012 0 Comments 21 Days Apparently that's how long it takes to change a habit. So if you've gotten out of a healthy routine, oh say... going Salsa dancing in the evening... it might take you a while to get back into the routine. Few (I originally wrote "none" but didn't want to over generalize) of us like discipline. I dare say, all of us would like the results if we were disciplined!
But it's not that easy, because we've filled that time with something. Now we have to "find" the time to fit in what we used to do conveniently. In my case, I took a part time job at a doctor's office three days a week. I love the people, the work, and the paycheck;) but I'm strapped for time now. It's hard to find time to run those annoyingly necessary errands (silly groceries) because when I'm off work all I want to do is play with my kids. By the time they go to bed, I do the essentials online (reply to e-mails, pay bills, yada yada) and then I'm pooped! And I haven't even done my PT yet?! Right now I'm at a critical point with my physical therapy. I'm mostly healed, so I'm getting lazy - which is the opposite of what I should be doing. If I want full range of motion back (something that could come in handy for a dancer) I need to hit it just as hard as I did the first six weeks. But I didn't have so many balls in the air then. So, how do we juggle? It all comes down to priorities. And second to my kids, should be my complete health, so I've gotten back on the PT horse. No more Allie-Wallie-Doodle-All-Day (my father's childhood nickname for me - and if you ever use it - I'll step on your toes;). I've got to be intentional about how I spend my time. It's one of the biggest gifts we get. And for my money - nothing nourishes my body, challenges my mind, and lifts my spirit as well as dancing. See you on the hardwood! 8/16/2012 0 Comments Back to Basics In life, I’m constantly surprised with how often we have to go back to the basics. For two reasons, 1) Shouldn’t it eventually get more complicated? And 2) If not, how many times do we have to be reminded to go back before we just get it: it’s about the basics!
As most of you know, I had knee surgery in early May. I’m in the throes of physical therapy as I type – literally, I’m icing and stretching my knee right now. I’m thrilled to be moving, (when it doesn’t hurt;) but I’m cracking up in PT because the difficult thing we’re working on at the moment is walking. My therapist literally explained a normal stride and took me through it step by step. Something I learned when I was in diapers, I now have to retrain myself to do. It’s humbling to say the least. Thankfully, my dance background helps – (mostly because I’ve swallowed my pride many times on the dance floor;). To really study dance, you question the reason for movement. Why do I take a back step? How do I get there most efficiently and artistically? And my personal favorite: why do my arms move? (Say it with me: “because they’re an extension of your back and rib cage”.) So as I was hobbling down the hallway, I thought about what makes you walk normally. If you’ve heard me say it once, you’ve dreaded me saying it over and over again – because you push off the floor! In daily life we don’t just throw our bodies through space and hope we end up somewhere good. We push from foot to foot (without even thinking about it) to get to our specific destination. Dance should be the same way. Push into the floor to get to where you’re going. Find the reason for the movement before you move. Go back to the basics to make the advanced combo look amazing. I’ll see you on the hardwood… and I’m damn happy to be back!:) 7/5/2012 0 Comments BlausedThis blog is on pause. Only temporarily. I will resume writing when I take the dance floor again...if not sooner. Love to all my readers:) In the meantime- practice, breathe, and laugh at yourself.
See you on the hardwood. |
AuthorAllison loves to write almost as much as she loves to dance, so no one had to twist her arm to get her to write about dancing! Archives
March 2018
CategoriesAll Dr.Seuss Life's A Dance Oh The Places You'll Go See You On The Hardwood |