There you are smiling, dancing, trying to stay out of your head. You’re thinking, “Wow! She’s smiling at me.” So, you’re obviously the lead in this scenario… roll with it ladies. You like the song. You’re wearing your best shirt. And then, you throw in uber combo #72. Where’d it go? She was just smiling a moment ago. Uh oh, she’s avoiding eye contact. I’m losing her. She’s not! She is… looking for her next partner. Damn!
Just like that you go from smooth to schmuck. One hand too low (or too high if you get my drift) and she’s struggling not to smack you in the face. You try to win her back by throwing fancier moves at her, but now you’re the guy who's trying
too hard. You’re desperate. And all she’s thinking is, “Do I have to finish this song or can I make an excuse to go to the bathroom right now?”
It’s a tough world out there guys. And ladies, why don’t you cut ‘em some slack. They’re not always hitting on you! Usually they’re just doing what the instructor told them to do. Personally, I’m a big supporter of the hip lead. I prefer a guy to grab my hips instead of my love handles. Can I get an “Amen!” ladies? Now, if he’s forcefully moving my hips – it’s a deal breaker. I’ll be saying “no” next time he asks me to dance.
So what can you do as a gentlemen leading in a sexy Salsa world? First and foremost, know this: it’s just dancing! The good time we, as ladies, are looking for ends when we change out of our dance shoes. Being aware of this affects your whole demeanor guys. Let’s admit it - you’re more relaxed when sex is off the table. (Some of my male readers are very confused right now. I can actually hear them wondering if sex is ever completely off the table. The answer is a resounding Yes!) And if I’m wrong, you’ll be happily surprised, right?
Once you realize it’s only a dance, you can focus on your number one job: making the woman look/feel good. If you’re truly focused on this, you’re concentrating on the lead. The mechanics. The when, where, and why of the hands, feet, and center. Basically, you’re concerned with communicating…and really, isn’t that what we ladies nag you about all the time anyway?;)
It is really that simple. If the communication is clear, we know where your intentions lie. If we trust those intentions, we relax and let you lead. It’s a win-win. And we can create something fun, flirty, and even romantic together. If we don’t trust your intentions, we’ll opt for the frequent restroom break restraining order.
See you on the hardwood;)
Allison loves to write almost as much as she loves to dance, so no one had to twist her arm to get her to write about dancing!