...and not in the good way! Two things really bother me on the dance floor. The first is a pushy lead. I don't like being manhandled (nor do I know anyone who does). I'd much rather be invited. The second, and one I have been lucky enough to avoid for some time, is Ego. I absolutely want to punch some guys in the face...ok, that may be a little violent (and not the right way to start the new year) - so I'll settle for telling them, "It's not about you. Really."
Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying it's about me. The reason I social dance is because it's about US. Two people creating together... something funny, something sexy, it doesn't matter what, as long as both opinions matter in the conversation (dance being a conversation you have without the words). Why would you talk to someone if you don't care what they say, anyway?!
Granted, I did ask this man to dance. But, Wow!, do I wish now he would have said, "No, thanks", b/c he didn't seem to care about my being there at all. I knew his style was flamboyant, but it was a Bachata, so I assumed he would be a tad more chill. Wrong!
His movement was loud and disjointed. His fingertips pressed into my back (Hate it!). His conviction that he was the superior dancer dripped from every scoff he gave if I missed a lead - which happened a grand total of two times toward the beginning of the song while I was still trying to decipher the lead through the yelling his body was doing.
It was basically the total opposite of what dancing should be! And for a split, very sad, second, I understood why women, (people, really - b/c I've heard horror stories about female partners, too) give up social dancing. If I ran into people like this often, I'd pursue another career!
Why do I tell you all this? Why not just vent in my journal like a normal person? So you can be - scratch that - so WE can all be better partners - both in life and dancing! If you engage in conversation with someone, whether with the body or otherwise, make it a conversation you both enjoy. It's not that hard to do. Just make them feel like their being there matters to you. ... Then you might get them hot and bothered in the right way;)
See you on the hardwood!
Allison loves to write almost as much as she loves to dance, so no one had to twist her arm to get her to write about dancing!