1/25/2014 1 Comment
Permission to suck?
Granted! Ironically, while I write this I'm listening to "The Scientist" by Coldplay and the lyrics "Nobody said it was easy... No one ever said it would be this hard... Oh take me back to the start." are echoing in the background. Total serendipity - because today's blog is about letting yourself Suck when you're new...to anything - especially Dance.
Dance demands things of muscles in your body you didn't know you had. It requires focus you didn't know you were capable of - where time evaporates and life's other problems melt away (one of the perks of the dance floor, actually:). And if it's a partner dance you're doing - it pleads with you to be more vulnerable, more giving, and more honest than you ever thought possible. Then you put the music on and it demands all of these of you at high speeds!? You're going to stumble. Probably even fall. Guess what - everyone does!
Cut yourself a little slack. Even if you're accustomed to picking things up quickly. Even you - athlete, professional musician, superwoman... even you. I've said this over and over again to my students - usually right before I give them thirteen things to think about at once. Hey, I'm not perfect. I'm excitable. So if I give you a lot to think about, it's because you're doing really well!
By now, we've all heard it takes 10,000 hours to master your craft. I know we're not all trying to be masters, but let's give ourselves a minimum of 1,000 hours (conservatively:) to be good - shall we? And when we get stuck - as we inevitably will - go back to the start: the basics.
Life truly is a dance. I need to remember this more in the Parenting arena. It's a tricky one to negotiate at times and I get sooooo disappointed with myself when I handle a tough situation poorly. Most recently, it involved my three year old, a pair of wet pants, and a carpet stain. But that's why they're called Accidents! I should have just shrugged it off and went about our now deodorized evening. But I didn't. I suck. And I hate that I suck.
I want to be an amazing mom! I do my homework. I read parenting books, books on communicating, books about expressing love, parenting blogs, and anything else I can fit into my schedule. But when a "song comes on" I don't like - I flail through space and time lost in my own ineptitude. And I'm over 25,000 hours into my son's life. Talk about Slow Learner. But they're right... "no one ever said it would be this hard". I need to go back to the basics. Which, with kids, is Love.
I'm not saying you have to like sucking. I'm saying: expect you will...totally suck... when you're new. Allow yourself some stumbles. Some bruised knees (and Egos). Most importantly, allow yourself time to get better.
See you on the hardwood!
1/26/2014 12:03:55 am
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Allison loves to write almost as much as she loves to dance, so no one had to twist her arm to get her to write about dancing!
All Dr.Seuss Life's A Dance Oh The Places You'll Go See You On The Hardwood