I'm so grateful I saw this story tonight, the night before I go in for knee surgery, because to be honest - today was a freak out day. Confession time: watching the guy's story on DWTS wasn't the first time I cried today. What can I say? Sometimes I'm surprisingly girly... or should I say "human"?
Those of you who know me know I always look on the positive side of things. In truth, I rarely entertain any other possibilities. (Caveat: I do have a worse-case-scenario imagination, but I know that's not real life. When reality hits you in the face - I'm Mrs. Positive!) So I've been looking at this surgery as just a thing I have to do. No big deal, right?
Turns out, it is a big deal. I realized this today when the nice man came over with the machines I'll need to aid my recovery. Somewhere between bouncing one kid on my good knee, wiping the other kid's extraordinarily runny nose (seriously, how does such a small person create so much snot?!), and silently cursing my husband for not being here to help me like he was supposed to be... oh yes, and paying attention to all the nice man's directions for how to use said equipment - I started panicking.
Just then my 4:30 lesson showed up 20 minutes early (yes, I'm still teaching, but it feels more like dictating) and my hell was complete. Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love teaching and I'm very fond of this student - it was the timing, and the mess that was my house, that didn't blow my skirt up... not that I've worn a skirt in ages. Or high heels, and honestly, I miss them. Where was I?
Oh yes, the hit. That's the only problem with staying on the bright side... when the darkness comes - it's angry for having been ignored for so long. Hence the tears.
Throw in some physical pain and feeling emotionally alone and you've got a big, blonde mess on your hands. Luckily, my husband and son were walking the dog, my daughter was sleeping, and my student was long gone by this time - so I was free to be as messy as I needed.
I tried the whole let-it-all-out thing, but my positive side won't let me completely dance with the darkness, so I ended up warring in my head. After 15 minutes of that crap, I decided a physical cleasing was in order. So I took a shower. Better... but still some shadows lingered. Then I watched Dancing and Oh! how my heart healed! This guy overcame an aneurysm!? I'm not even going to complain about a routine knee surgery! (Especially since they're going to be giving me some pretty serious drugs;)
I was just amazed at how quickly my perspective changed! From pity party to puh-leez get a grip! From sulking to smiling. From ridiculously near-sighted to realizing: there are people out there with real problems. Thank you Seelo (sp?) and DWTS for helping me see things differently. Our minds are a powerful tool, for good or evil, and now I'm back to where I was (rightfully so) in the beginning - tomorrow is no big deal.
So, if you've been feeling a little Eeyore-esque lately, snap out of it! We have so many things to be grateful for! And having a poisoned mind only leads to a poisoned heart and that's not any good for anybody. Your mind is the one thing you can control in this huge, crazy world. Don't give that power away to emotional whims, triviality, or laziness. We all deserve better!
See you on the hardwood:) Soon!:)