The title of my blog is Life's a Dance, and I find it more fitting with each passing week. I share this title with a country song by John Michael Montgomery. In the song, he says, "Sometimes you lead. Sometimes you follow." And boy...did he hit the nail on the head.
If I had a dollar for every woman who told me they can't (or won't) follow, I'd be one rich cookie. It's hard giving up control! It took me years to do it on the dance floor and it's painful trying to apply it to my life now (in my laid-up-not-so-useful position). When my kids cry, I don't know why (and my husband quickly tired of my asking). When it's time for their lunch, I don't get to make sure they eat a healthy, balanced meal (instead of a handful of chips). And I wouldn't call myself the shiniest shoe on the floor, but I'm pretty sure if I never asked him to change another dirty diaper, my husband would be thrilled.
My point is, it's hard not being the one calling the shots. As much stress as being in charge can bring, we'd choose that everyday over being helpless...over waiting... over not being able to contribute. And on a small scale, that may be why some women fight following. We want to feel like we bring something to the floor.
Let me allay that fear, ladies. Followers still have responsibilities on the floor. Men create space - women fill it. Men suggest a direction - women accept and move there (controlling our own weight!). Men are the frame - women are the picture.
When was the last time you saw a frame within a frame at an art museum? Or an interior designer clearing out a room only to fill it with nothing? Or two people directing traffic at a busted stop light? It doesn't happen because two of the same are redundant... and dangerous in the traffic analogy.
It's the same philosophy as Opposites Attract. If you marry someone just like you, one of you is unnecessary. Now, will you run into things about the other person that drive you absolutely batty? Gauranteed. But you can't change it. So you may as well focus on your responsibility. We can't control what anyone else does: not our lead, our spouse, our children (OK, while they're young, I may die trying on that last one) so why drive ourselves - and everyone around us - crazy?!
No one is perfect... despite how we try. Sometimes we lead and sometimes we follow. And sometimes both of 'em suck. But only if we choose to let it. We can choose grace. It's hard as hell, but it is within our reach. See you on the hardwood.
Allison loves to write almost as much as she loves to dance, so no one had to twist her arm to get her to write about dancing!