2/16/2012 0 Comments Navigation, navigation, navigation Tonight I taught a combo that called for some traveling. On a crowded salsa floor this wouldn't be as possible, but the Avalon has a luxurious amount of space, so I wanted to take advantage of it. Those of you who dance with me or take my lessons know I like to move!
Which raises questions quite often. The most common one being, "But I thought we were supposed to take small steps?" You are. Especially when the floor is packed. But, if you have room, and you can support the movement, then you get to take stronger steps - which to the lay person will look bigger. I assure you, there's a big difference between a large step and a strong step. A person who's taking large steps is one you want to avoid dancing next to, because it's almost a guarantee you'll get a high heel to the achilles. Trust me, it's not as fun as it sounds. A person taking strong steps is one who knows how to control their weight and can stop on a dime when necessary (which is quite often in the salsa world) so you can trust them to avoid surrounding couples. "But isn't it the guy's job to watch out for other people?" Yes, however, there are a lot of people spinning around you and he's only one man. Add to that the fact you're spinning as well, and it becomes quite tricky to keep track of everyone. Pile on the little tidbit that each couple around you has an agenda your man knows nothing about, so he's basically attempting to read minds (and we know how well that works out from our personal relationships with them;). Top it with, one or more of the individuals in each partnership may be throwing their bodies through space and calling it dancing (when really it's more like human bowling) and it becomes mission impossible to prevent accidents. As a woman reading this, you should be sweating by now with the pressure the guy deals with in regards to floor navigation. I haven't even tapped into the general pressure he feels to impress you, his partner, within your dance. That's a whole different ball game. I say this because ladies - you need to help the guy out! And protect yourself in the process:) If you learn to control your weight; i.e. push from the floor instead of hurling your torso around and praying your feet catch up, you can stop whenever you need to to avoid a collision. So whether your lead sees the potential danger or not, you end up safe... what a concept. To master effortless control on the dance floor, call me for a private lesson. It takes time and practice, and whether you're a beginner or an advanced dancer, you can always improve! See you on the hardwood! Hopefully stepping on less toes from now on;)
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2/9/2012 0 Comments Get a room...? Someone informed me a great instructor once told him, "make a distinction between dancing and making love standing up". I agree, which is why I don't like Reggeaton. It's bumping and grinding at its max. Blech!
However, I also think, if you love the person you're dancing with - people should be able to tell. Whether it's your smile, your eye contact, your slightly sexier styling, anything - as long as it's something. You want to avoid going into auto pilot when you dance. This can be especially tricky at the end of the night when your feet are getting tired... along with the rest of your body. You start thinking about all the things you have to do the next day and how you really should be getting home, but there are still some names on your dance card. How to marry the two? I try to find joy in the little things. A certain partner's relaxed style, another partner's sheer joy while dancing, or maybe just their smile is enough to make it worth it. It's hard sometimes. I get it. What I'll offer besides looking for the little things, is this: if you can't find joy because you're starting to get dizzy you're so tired - go home. Tell your dance card peeps you'll take a rain check. I'm sure they won't be offended because they've read my earlier blog;) And on that note of being really tired, I'm going to keep this entry super short. Be intimate with your special someone if you have one. If people don't want to see it, they don't have to watch. I'd love to say, "be classy" or "some things are meant to be private". The problem there is, where's the line? To some, a sexy look is too personal. To others, close body contact is uncalled for. Worrying about what others think is a slippery slope indeed. Bottom line - I'm not going to let other people's perception dictate how I dance. You're never going to please everyone. Work on pleasing your partner for this dance. I will "dance like no one is watching" - especially with my husband on our one date night a month! See you on the hardwood!:) 2/2/2012 0 Comments Martha, take two You've waited all week for Dance Floor Etiquette 201 -now it's time for the payoff. The answer to the provocative question: when is a "yes", a "Yes!;)". Before I dive in, I need to preface this blog with, let's call it "a hilarious truth"... I'm not the best person to answer this question, because - to me, it's always just dancing!! Even before I was married, dancing was dancing. Fun... not foreplay.
Now, if you're still reading, I'll share the wisdom of some of my friends who reveled in using dance (especially the Latin dances) as foreplay. Quick note about this that ties into last week's blog: this is the reason some guys won't ask certain women to dance. If the guy knows she is spoken for off the dance floor, he doesn't want to offend the other guy (or get his a*^ kicked), so he won't ask the woman. I remember a couple of years back, my husband and I were at La Rumba and I asked a guy to dance and he said, "Oh! I was hoping to dance with you, but I didn't know if you were dancing with other people." Clearly, to a lot of people, it's not just "dancing". So, how do you know? I'm going to put this communication responsibilty on the ladies. For multiple reasons, the least of which is not that the guy has fourteen other things to focus on when you're dancing. Basically, no gentleman wants to force an intimacy issue. So to my guys I say, always assume you're just dancing. To my ladies I say, if you want more than a dance, make sure he knows it. But Allison, what if I'm shy? What if I'm scared? What if I want him to ask me out? OK, I hear you. You know the saying "nice guys finish last"? It's not true. The truth is, "Shy guys finish last." For the sake of arguing, let's say "shy people". How long are you willing to do and/or say nothing while life passes you by. If you want something, the least you can do is vocalize it! If you want more than a dance from a guy, maybe you could say something like, "Wanna get some water?" (Feel free to substitute your own accent there... I know we're not all from KY). "But I'm scared he'll say no." Tough cookies! (Can you tell I'm trying to work on my cursing... the woes of a mother;). As we've discussed in previous blogs, no is unfortunately a part of life. And asking him to the water fountain isn't exactly throwing yourself at him. He might say no tonight, but ask you next week. Or never. Either way, grow a backbone and go for it. "Well, I'm old fashioned, and I want the man to make the first move." I feel you! I'm the same way. In fact, I've written multiple screenplays about that very subject. If this is the case, you need to make it very clear through body language and eye contact that you want more than some smooth eight counts from him. And, if he doesn't respond, (isn't excited to dance another song with you or starts looking away uncomfortably) you need to back off. No lady wants to force an intimacy issue either. It's actually pretty simple to recognize whether someone is in to you or not. You just have to pay attention. Is s/he looking at you or looking anywhere but you? Does his/her smile touch their eyes, or is it the "I'm smiling because Allison told me to in one of her blogs" face? Or worse yet, they're not smiling at all - quite the no-brainer there. Do you dance with this person every week or do they make excuses half the time? Have you danced with them five songs in a row? Mutually! Or does s/he try to thank you and walk away after each song? When you get close, does the other person stay close comfortably, or do you feel them stop breathing and start pulling away? I told you: it's not rocket science. If you want to play it safe - always assume it's just dancing. Don't ever assume you're hot stuff and everyone you dance with is dying to jump your bones. That's quite simply not even in the realm of truth. And no one likes to dance with that guy or gal. Remember, before dancing is anything, it's FUN. And if it's only ever that... Awesome! See you on the hardwood:) 1/26/2012 0 Comments Move over Martha Stewart A funny blog suggestion came my way that I simply can't (and don't want to) ignore: dance floor etiquette! Not surprisingly, questions like this gentleman's come up quite often, so let's delve into this world of good behavior on the hardwood. As you already know, this is merely my opinion (hence the blog format as opposed to say, a textbook) but I'll do my best to illuminate all the treacherous nooks and crannies of the social dance floor.
Let's start with the easiest first... - Brush your teeth! Simple, yet often sadly overlooked. If you can't swing this monumental task, get some minty gum. I emphasive the flavor because personally, the fruity smelling variety makes me want to wretch! Or suck on some mints, but stay alert - shortly after those puppies are gone, the breath comes kickin' back. - If you tend to perspire...profusely, bring a change of shirt. There's nothing wrong with sweating - we are dancing after all. There are a few things wrong with asking a woman to touch your drenched shirt. I'll sum up the hygiene section by saying, "Come on, do I really have to go over these? This is stuff we all learned by third grade. Put your best foot forward." On to the slightly trickier... - Who asks whom to dance? The truth is: anyone can ask anyone. Man or woman, instructor or student, beginner or advanced - if you're out social dancing be happy people ask you to dance. Now for the fine print. Guys, it makes us ladies feel good to be asked. It gives us confidence in your ability to do your job on the dance floor and lead, because you're taking charge before we get out there. There's a whole psychology behind this that could be it's own blog. I'll sum it up like this: if you want to dance and no one is asking you, stop pouting and go take that scary first step yourself. I ask guys to dance all the time - because I don't like sitting around when I'm supposed to be dancing. - When is it OK to say No? Oooh...tricky! To be honest, I say "No" sometimes. Usually it's when I honestly need a break or have to go to the bathroom. Think of social dancing like you would any other facet of your life- you're not going to get all "Yes!" all the time. If you get a no, just go to the next person. I guarantee I've gotten more no's than everyone reading this blog (yes, all five of you;) put together. Here's my rule: I'll dance with anyone at least once. If they hurt me, or if they show off and act like I'm not there, or if I just don't vibe with them - I might say no the next time - but I never say no because I think I'm better than them! In fact, I'm getting fired up typing this because dancers with attitude really piss me off! When each of us started, there were better dancers than all of us. And they were kind enough to dance with us. How dare we cop an attitude now that we think we're hot stuff!? Do the world a favor and stay home! OK, back to nice Allison. Where was I? Oh yes... - How to conduct yourself once you're dancing with someone. It's ironic I got this question when I did because I had an interesting experience just last week. I asked a guy to dance (told you so:) and he accepted. We went to the floor and proceeded to do a perfectly nice salsa - except for the fact that he never smiled, spoke, or seemed to care he was dancing with me at all. In fact, by the end of the song, I was convinced I had offended his very nature in some way. Was it because I asked him? Why wouldn't he just say No?! One student postured it may be because he was intimidated to dance with the instructor. Perhaps, though silly from my p.o.v., but why would he handle intimidation with stone cold silence. Don't most people use small talk or comedy to cover awkward situations?! He never even asked my name. I was about to ask his, but then I realized, "Wait a damn minute! I asked him to dance and I'm following everything he leads with a smile. He can ask me if he cares."...he obviously didn't. I haven't had that little fun on the dance floor in a long time. And I won't be asking him to dance again...shocker! So when you're dancing with someone, give them your all. If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times: when you're dancing with someone, let everything else go and just create with that partner in that moment! Don't look around for your next partner. Don't look at the floor. You don't have to stare into each other's eyes the whole time, but check in once in a while with a smile. People know when you're less than excited to dance with them. Make it your mission to be excited with everyone - and everyone (save Mr. Silent Treatment from last week) will be excited to dance with you. If they're not, they're not meant to be your partner. Move on with all the skin on your back in tact. I've saved the best question for last: - When is a "yes" an eyebrow-raise-wink-wink-lick-your-lips-I'm-going-home-with-you-tonight "Yes!" Unfortunately, this blog is already too long (I'm really struggling with that resolution!) so you'll have to tune in next week for the titillating answer. Until then - See you on the hardwood! 1/19/2012 0 Comments I was his.By the time the song ended, I was unequivocally his. He could have danced me off a cliff and I would have happily followed. His name was Julio. The dance: Argentine Tango. Suffice to say, after dancing with Julio, I know why they call A Tango a lifestyle, not just a dance!
Julio was one of the cast members in the Broadway show Forever Tango. Luis Bravo, the producer of the show, is a fan of horse racing. Kentucky, my home state, is famous for horse racing. Fortune smiled on the independent dance studio I was working in almost five years ago, when Luis brought some of his dancers to give us a show and workshop. Julio and his partner, Catherina, performed at the after party. To say it was jaw dropping, would be doing them an injustice. I honestly don't think I took a breath the entire time they danced. Then, in an unprecedented act of generosity, Julio began dancing with each woman in the room. Let me repeat, so everyone understands the scope of how huge this was: Julio danced on Broadway! Quite successfully! And here he was, dancing with what could only have seemed like paltry amateurs to him. But we weren't. To him, we were the most important woman in the room while he danced with us. And that's why I'll remember that dance for the rest of my life. We never danced any flashy moves. In fact, we did basics for most of the song. He slipped in a boleo every now and then. That was it. And it was the sexiest dance I've ever done in my life. Here's why - he completely controlled my body. Half way through the song, I even closed my eyes, because I didn't want any distractions. I only wanted to submit to his will. Now, some of you may think I'm crazy. (My husband would agree with you...but probably for different reasons:) But I assure you ladies, when you have that experience on the dance floor - where the man takes total, respectful control of your body - you won't want to dance any other way. That level of trust and confidence in your partner (even if they are a total stranger) is exhilarating! Others of you may be saying, "But how did he do that?". The answer is more complex than you'll want to hear. I'd say start with learning your own body dynamics really well. Practice! A lot. Learn to move as many of your body parts in as many ways as you possibly can. Learn to connect your movement to the floor - (for more on this, call me for a lesson). Then, learn to move the woman. Notice how I didn't say "learn some moves to impress the woman". This is an all too common misconception among dancing men- you have to know a lot of flashy moves to impress us. It's not about that at all!!! Julio had me weak in the knees and only did two moves the whole song. So here's what most women don't know or won't admit to, sometimes even to themselves. We (women) want to be able to trust our bodies to you. We want to know that at the moment we're dancing with you - you're not thinking of anyone besides us. If we feel confident you'll take care of us and we are your number one priority, we'll amaze you (and ourselves) with how much we give you. Now ladies, this doesn't happen overnight. Following takes a lot of practice, too...and trust. But you have to start sometime! Do yourself a favor - start Today! So there you have it... the dance that will live in Allison's heart for eternity. I feel I haven't done it justice. The room actually dissolved around us like a scene out of a movie. My heart beats faster just thinking of that dance. My knees seem to forget how to hold the rest of me upright. My breath catches in my throat. That's what a great lead can do to a woman. Don't lie to yourself and say, "Well, Salsa is different." The principles of partner dancing are universal! The type of dance is irrelevant to how amazing a moment can feel. What I'm trying to say is: it's the partnership that makes it worth while. Give your all to each partner you dance with and watch what magic happens. Wow... Life really is a dance! See you on the hardwood:) 1/12/2012 0 Comments "May I take your ego, sir?""No? Ma'am? Hmm...shame." This should be the greeting at every dance door. However the answer should be, "Oh Please! I won't be using it." But that's not exactly true, is it? We all have our pride. We all have an image we want to portray - whether we admit it or not. We all visualize ourselves as knowledgeable or good at something. And for my blog - let's say it's dancing.
A funny thing happened on my way to the Avalon...(hee hee hee;)... I took a private lesson in Argentine Tango. Yes, you read it correctly: I took a lesson, not taught. And let's address this stigma (if you listen closely, you can hear the shudders running through people's offended natures right now) about instructors who have the nerve to take lessons- because it drives me crazy! How dare I, right? I can sum it up in three words people: Never Stop Learning! Or, if you'd like a different three: Hone Your Craft! If you can't agree with either of those, then I have another three words for you but they're not as...inspirational;) So, the lesson went fabulously! I impressed the instructor to the point where he actually shouted across the room to his wife, "This one's going to be a lot of fun!" And he meant it: (it wasn't a secret code for "high maintenance" - I asked him;). If you haven't tried Argentine Tango - I highly recommend it!! It has the power to transport you! Needless to say, I'm pretty stoked by the time I get to the Avalon to teach Salsa. I've been there for a few years now, so I feel pretty comfortable. In general, I believe people regard me highly...except those that think I'm a raving lunatic or just mean - (if that's you, read my previous post;). So there I am, doing my thing, when I give instruction on the frame I want. A face I don't recognize, isn't doing what I ask, so I reiterate. This face then proceeds to offer me an education as to what he's doing. Me. He's going to teach me about salsa. The woman teaching the class he paid to take. I literally had to stop myself from making him look like a total fool in front of everyone. But if I had, what would I have looked like? A jerk. That's when I realized - I am a jerk. Or, more accurately, I have jerk tendencies. Shortly after coming to this conclusion I also realized - I'm a nobody!?! So I teach Salsa. So I've danced in LA, New York, Miami, the Dominican Republic, etc. So I've been in dance videos. Who cares?! I have no titles to my credit. I've never won any professional dance competitions (though, I've never had a partner, so it's like hoping to win the lottery when you don't buy a ticket). But my point is - the world doesn't know my name. There, I said it! As much as I would like the world to know my name - because my mission really is to get the world dancing - they don't yet. And apparently that's a good thing, because I have a lot of work to do on myself before I get any kind of famous. I'm sorry, new face, that I wanted to make you look stupid. That's not cool. In the future, I will try to check my ego at the door (and not pick it up on the way out). In my heart of hearts, I want to be more like Julio - the man who gave me the most amazing moment I've ever had on any dance floor. If this weren't a long blog already (silly resolutions) I'd tell you about him now. Tune in next week to find out more... and believe me, you'll want to know more about Julio... the world does know his name! See you on the hardwood! 1/5/2012 2 Comments To Know Me... ...is to take what I say with a grain of salt. As a teacher, it's my job to help make you the best dancer you can be. Part of what that entails, is giving feedback, and it's not always going to be wine and roses. So I try to make light of it - because that's what I do in life - I use comedy for everything! I was cracking jokes during my
c-sections...both of them. Bottom line: if I make a joke about something someone is doing when they dance it's because I care enough to tell you. It's important to know that it is NEVER my intent to hurt anyone's feelings. And I definitely don't want to deter you from dancing. I want the whole world to Dance! But I want you (and your partner) to have fun and be safe when you do it. Yes, we're still talking about dancing;) I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it is never any teacher's intent to hurt feelings - but someone has to tell you... that's why you pay us. Think of it like this: if you had a big green piece of spinach in your teeth, wouldn't you want someone to tell you?! Wouldn't that be preferable to walking around all night with your food hanging out? If they tell you by joking about it, don't get offended. Instead, know they're trying to keep the mood light for everyone. I found out recently my name apparently means "truthful". Ironic, I thought, because my friends always joke that everyone needs one friend like me. I'm the girl who'll tell you (if you ask) when you 'don't look your best in something', or give you an honest critique on a project when I could have said, "it's great!", or tell you when you have something scary and green in your teeth. A teacher who spends all their time complimenting you, instead of educating you, is just trying to get your money. Run the other way. So, for goodness sake, thicken that skin, brush your teeth, and I'll see you on the hardwood!:) 12/29/2011 0 Comments Happy New Year!! Ah, New Year's, my second favorite holiday! With all the warmth in your heart leftover from Christmas, and the promise of unlimited possibilities in your future, it's the perfect time to make... Resolutions!!
I resolve to keep my blog short. Gotcha! I don't mean that short. Baby steps;) I resolve to learn how to post the salsa combinations (or links) on my website myself - without needing my husband's help. On this note, we'll get the link up tomorrow...when he's awake. I confessed my lack of technological savvy week one - don't be mad. I resolve to keep learning, in every facet of life, but definitely where my dancing and teaching are concerned. I resolve to be the most gracious dance partner and follow I can possibly be. We are all learning and life is too short to nitpick on the dance floor...not that I would ever do that;) Finally, I resolve to keep FUN in the forefront of my dancing (and maybe life:). When it's your job, it's easy to get caught up in the details. I dance because I love it! I teach because I love it! If either of those change - so will I. Happy resolution making (and keeping) and Happiest New Year!! See you on the hardwood;) 12/23/2011 0 Comments Merry Christmas!...and/or Happy Holidays for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas. I hope everyone has a safe and fabulous holiday season filled with joy instead of stress. What a thought...
Today's blog, though completely applicable to dancing, is more about life. We've gotten so twisted around (as a society) as to what we value. Let me hopefully not be the first to say: it's down right depressing! Instead of being the most wonderful time of the year, Christmas has become a huge stress for lots of people. And, why? Because we have so many things to buy, Buy, BUY! So many gifts to give and parties to throw and people to impress. Guess what: if they're not impressed with you by now, no Christmas gift is going to change that. And who cares?! Focus on the people who love you no matter the price tag. With this time (and every holiday from now on) take a deep breath, slow down, and really think about what's truly important. Same in partner dancing: take a breath (it's amazing how many people actually hold their breath while dancing...dangerous!), slow down, and realize that what's important is the two of you having fun in that moment (and not hurting anyone on the dance floor:). As for me, I'm looking forward to sledding with my family tomorrow. Making homemade chocolates. Eating said homemade goodies. And finally, dancing off some holiday calories! See you on the hardwood:) I am a lucky woman! I have two wonderful kids, a job I love, and a fantastic husband to share it all with. Last night, he joined me in teaching the advanced salsa class at the Avalon. It was our first dance date in a looong time. We met on the dance floor. Years ago, he walked into the studio where I worked and wanted to learn to salsa. Five years later, here we are.
Everyone who has taken a class from me knows I advocate good technique. Contrary to popular belief, I don't do this to torture you. Part of my job is to make the dance easier for you. And moving your body efficiently does just that. So, I talk a lot about how and what to move, when. My husband, gotta love him, last night confessed to me that he found he was leaning backwards during one part of the combo. It's an easy mistake to make with this particular move. We pointed the "danger" out to the class, and proceeded to dance. The next time, he kept his shoulders on top of his feet, and surprised himself. "It's easier that way." I almost fell over myself laughing. So, I get it: technique can be difficult. But keep fighting the good fight! Be aware of where your body is in space and over your feet. Use your feet into the floor - they're your best friend on the dance floor. Engage your center to keep your body moving as one unit. And eventually, it will come together and all dancing will be easier:) See you on the hardwood;) |
AuthorAllison loves to write almost as much as she loves to dance, so no one had to twist her arm to get her to write about dancing! Archives
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CategoriesAll Dr.Seuss Life's A Dance Oh The Places You'll Go See You On The Hardwood |